As a child, the times of uncertainty were the most memorable ones. The times when the air felt dense and eerie, whenever there would not be enough food to go around; when any moment felt like it could ultimately be the last. Those were the moments that shook me the most; those were the moments when I would peer out the windows and stare into oblivion.
My mom always put on a stern face for others, but whenever she was alone, she looked so forlorn, so empty, like all hope had been sucked out of her. Perhaps this reaction is to be expected when an immigrant mother of three is effectively widowed by a compulsive gambling husband who would never return. Each night, I would hear the muffled sound of a weeping mother trying to maintain her composure. Agonized, demoralized, betrayed, all those words combined couldn’t describe the emotions that would surface on her face. I hated her, hated her for how she looked at me remorsefully with a feeling of inadequacy.
My mom would juggle multiple jobs if it meant keeping her children academically competitive. It was when my mom purchased a $760.16 computer that I realized she had invested her full faith in me. It would be one of the few things I possessed, and at the same time, was a symbol of my mom’s strength, perseverance, courage, and sacrifices compressed into one machine.
That symbol would be the foundation and inspiration for creating my own website and so much more. Little did I know, creating a successful website would be a monstrous task that would involve many aspects of web designing, coding, maintenance, and promotion. To put it bluntly, I was initially out of my comfort zone.
When my website went live, it made it all the more satisfying. It wasn’t because it took weeks of endless reading and dedication, nor was it the cascade of obstacles that I had to encounter, it was the beginning of something new that I made with my own hands. It was a story of the little man persevering, something that I could call my own.
Shortly after, I learned about Google’s Adsense program, which compensated webmasters for displaying advertisements. My ambition, pressure, incentive, and curiosity to learning more about the web climbed to even higher heights. And as a result, my website has developed into a steady stream of income to help provide for my family.
To me, the financial gain was nothing more than a number. The instances that cried for my intuition and self-dedication in order to prosper, during tough economic times were my prouder moments; venturing into the unknown and somehow applying that knowledge in flipping a bleak situation into an opportunity, were my proudest moments.
Some people would say my childhood was bad luck, others would say it’s just life. I say my childhood has elevated me to become a more independent, mature, and caring person, and these experiences have given me the opportunity to make my family proud.
Walking down memory lane from year 2012!
